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When times are uncertain, people look for answers they said. While Kobe Bryant, dalgona coffee and fostering a dog are among the most Googled terms of 2020. My search bar has been full of ” How do I know I am?”. One of the bigger traits of my character traits have been questioned during the whole panoramic: Am I an introvert or an extrovert? 

Look at me, today, using big English words to qualify myself. I have discovered nuances in character by accident at school after being send on time-out every time I’d give my schoolmates a nickname. I was very good at it, focusing in details digging into the courses their struggled or exceeded in, parents/siblings physical appearance. By the time my agenda was filled with professors words for my parents, it was too late the nickname was already spread in the whole school.

Can I be blamed ? Around my people, one trait of character equals one whole human being –  no spaces left over for flows, variety. I have witnessed it so many times, my timid cousin was called muet. Family reunion, traumatised me. Our aunty will ask: “Tresor, how’s school?” Before he had the time to answer, somebody in the room would scream: “Don’t ask him questions – he is muet!”, somebody frying plantains far back in the kitchen be like “y’all still asking him questions? Don’t you understand he can’t talk? Does a muet ever talk back?!”  Myself, I was renamed ‘Bilanda landa’ in other words ‘the follower’. As soon as I would try to be involved in a conversation, they were like “Please, please! I don’t need headache today follow your siblings like you always do”. When I would do something they booed me off and add ‘you always copy anyway’.

Tellement violent que cela m'a accompagné tout au long de ma vie. J'avais l'habitude de chasser toutes les façons possibles et inimaginable de faire et d'être différente des autres. C'était drôle jusqu'à ce que je réalise le noyau de cette volonté un bébé de l'oppression ou de l'ignorance de mes proches.

A cet instant même où j'écris ceci, 96% de mon répertoire téléphonique contient des surnoms. le tout à des fins mnémotechniques. Je ne blâmerai pas ceux qui m'ont donné un surnom, mais je voudrais m'excuser auprès de ceux que j'ai blessés. Un surnom peut ajouter une étiquette à notre être, il peut être lourd qu'on le mette sur soi ou qu'on le mette sur les autres ; je ne sais pas lequel est le plus lourd. Depuis lors, je maudis les gens avec les noms les plus doux possibles, surtout lorsque ma nature de surnomeuse en série refait surface.

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